Written and performed by Zach Sherwin.nDirected by Ian Brownell.nBeatbox by Justin Zullo, music produced by Upryz.nnFeaturing Josh Gondelman...
Written and performed by Zach Sherwin.nDirected by Ian Brownell.nBeatbox by Justin Zullo, music produced by Upryz.nnFeaturing Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) as himselfnand Hayley Marie Norman (@xohayleymarie) as Miss Green Eyes.nnProducers - Brad Simpson (Steel Wool Entertainment and Media, www.steelwoolmedia.com), Ian Brownell, and Zach Sherwin.nnEditor - Ian BrownellnDirector of Photography - Jess Dunlapn1st AC - Matt NurrenGaffer - Mike LippinOpening sequence DP - Ian BrownellnnSpecial thanks: Jon Berkas, Ali Seraj and Isotope Networks.nnExtra special thanks: Roseanne Blair, Ben Broidy, Jenny Broidy, Maura Brown, Maria Ciampa, Laura Clark, Charlene Conley, Chris Fleming, Petey Gibson, Amy Hawthorne, Laura Hayden, Rhiannon Houch, Virginia Jones, Victoria Murray, Zach Ramey, Brodie Reed, Tommy Rico, Deb Ruiz, Monika Scott, and Tim Vargulish.nnLYRICS:nI'm at the club scene where I met Miss Green EyesnShe said, "I can tell by the size of your schnoz nThat you're Zach Sherwin, and I'm totally TWI!" nI said, "Oh, you're a Nas fan also? That's great! nWe have so much in common! nWe're clearly soulmates who were fated to date!" nShe said "Hold up and wait.nI'm flattered -- you're coming in too fast and hot though.nYou need to be more legato gelato."nI said, "What? Legato gelato?nThat's a slang term whose meaning I do not know!nBut I'm intrigued by the sound of it..."nShe said "Well let me break it down a bit.nYou might know the word 'legato' if you've ever studied music beforenIf you see it written down on a musical scorenThen the composer is directing you nTo play or sing all the notes smoothly and connected to the othersnWith no breaks in between nNow let me demonstrate a little bit and you can see what I mean."nnShe sang, "Laaa, laaa, laaa: that's legato.nNot, la-la-la; that's staccato. nThe opposite of what legato is.nAnd don't tell me that you don't know what gelato is!" nnI said, "Yes, I sure do, it's a dessertnThat you gotta keep ice cold in the freezernAnd now I'm no longer dazed and confusednNow I think I understand the phrase that you used.nDoes it mean 'keep it chill?'" She said "Yep."nI said "Thought so. Smooth and cool! Legato gelato!"nnOnce again, it's legato gelato!nSmooth like legato, cool like gelato!nIt's my new catchphrase, it's my new buzzword, it's my new motto: nLegato gelato.nnAnd check this out: take the word "legato." nNow take the "l" and the "g" and switch the two spotsnAnd look what you've got. Whoa! n"Legato" TURNS INTO "gelato!"nnI said "Ok, I'm taking things slow and I get the lingonCan I give you a ring?" n"No," she said, "I don't think so.nYou came on too strong, I felt smothered and nI need a lovermannWho won't let me have the upper hand." nI said, "Nah, miss, you got it wrong.nYou're a character I made up for my 'Legato Gelato' song.nYou don't exist if I don't imagine you.nHow 'bout that for high status, boo?"nShe said, "Damn! Now THAT was legato gelato! nWay to step it up with that macho bravado!nTake me home now, you wild stallion, nBut first do a victory lap rap as a finale, hon."nnI said, "Okay, I'm smooth and glossy, nAnd frosty as autumn in OslonWhen the temperature drops as low nAs the cost of shopping at CostconFluid and easy and keeping it cool nLike I'm eating a soup of gazpachon'Cause I do it legato with a scoop of gelato." Less
